Is time up for time-out? For many years, time-out, which is the discipline method of removing a child from a situation and requiring him to sit quietly to give the child the opportunity to calm down, has been commonly used by parents. Many child development experts are now challenging the use of time-out. Some have suggested that the inappropriate use of time-out damages a child’s self-esteem by punishing and humiliating the child in front of his or her friends. Time-out may send the message to a child that he or she is not wanted.

In addition, not everyone regains self-control in the same way. For example, some people release aggression through physical activity while others need a little quiet time to regain a sense of control. For this reason, time-out is not effective for everyone. Consequently, children who tend to use physical activity such as running and jumping to release aggression and frustration may use the time in the time-out chair to plot revenge or may spend the entire time asking if the time-out is over yet.

Should you still use time-out and are you using it effectively? Time-out can be effective when used appropriately. Parents should keep in mind that when time-out is over, and parent and child have had the chance to calm down, guiding and teaching children self-control has just begun. Use the following guidelines from the National Association for the Education of Young Children when using time-out:

  Avoid using time-out with infants and toddlers. Infants and young toddlers, who do not understand why their behavior is unacceptable, should gently be directed to more acceptable behaviors or activities.

  Impose consequences immediately following the child’s behavior. Whenever possible, adults should offer children positive alternatives to their actions.

  Be sure your expectations of a child’s behavior are realistic. When adults give children realistic goals, children feel good about themselves and are more likely to cope successfully with stressful situations.

  Do not leave the child alone, unless he wants to be. A caregiver should always visually observe a child during a time-out period.

  Time-out should not last longer than it takes for the child to calm down. There should be no ambiguity about why the child was disciplined; otherwise the child is more likely to repeat the undesirable behavior.

  The child needs to feel safe with the knowledge that people care for him or her. Screaming, hitting or ridiculing a child for bad behavior is not an effective way to teach self-control.

  Tailor the method of discipline to the individual child. Take into consideration the needs of the particular child. No single technique will work with every child.

  Time-out is not used as a punishment but instead as an opportunity for the child to clear his or her mind. Teach a child how to solve her own problems with love and support, and time-out may no longer be necessary.

Use time-out as a last resort for a child who is in danger of harming himself or others. Discipline during the early years of development is a critical time for children to gain confidence and self-control. To foster this development, parents should use a variety of more positive discipline techniques such as setting limits, logical consequences, giving choices and redirection, keeping in mind each child’s individual needs.