Single Parent Dads

Whether you are a couple or a single parent raising children or a grandparent raising grandchildren, communication is the key to helping your child develop, learn and build positive self-esteem and character. No doubt, single parenting can be more difficult because you do not have another supporting adult to help with the day-to-day responsibilities of parenting. Single fathers, in particular, may have even less support and understanding of their demanding role and responsibilities.

According to Dr. Wayne Matthews, North Carolina Cooperative Extension family and consumer sciences specialist, “open, honest, positive and consistent communication has been shown to be one of the most crucial elements in establishing and maintaining strong family relationships.” As a single father, it is important to spend a lot of time talking with your children. And, as a part of your communication, listen carefully to your children, without distractions, checking for the meaning in the messages that they are sending you. Do not criticize, evaluate or act superior to your children. If issues arise, deal with them one at a time.

Starla Ivey, research associate with the Building Strong Families Program, University of Missouri Extension, provides these four points for single fathers to build more time and better relationships with their children.

• Limit work on weekends, vacations and holidays. Avoid answering your phone or checking your e-mail while at home to have more time with your children. Tell co-workers you will not be available during that time, but you will get back to them as soon as you return to work.
• If you travel often, keep your children informed and involved. When you have to go away, leave notes, recorded messages or videos of yourself reading a favorite bedtime story for your child. Discuss the trip with your children when you return, showing pictures and telling stories to help them feel included.
• Consider asking your employer for a more flexible work arrangement. Try working longer days in order to have one day off per week, working through lunch in order to leave earlier or doing computer work from home. If you create a more flexible schedule, be careful to not let work spill over into family time. Be sure to take time for yourself each day, too.
• Participate in school or extracurricular activities. If your child’s school allows it, eat lunch with your child during your lunch hour. Arrange your schedule so that you can attend your child’s special events such as an awards ceremony. If your employer encourages volunteerism, spend time volunteering at your child’s school.