Discipline Tips for Busy Parents

Why a child misbehaves is not always clear to parents. An unexpected or unexplained disruption in a daily schedule or routine that is important to the child may be the reason.

When a child must make the transition from home to day-care or is expected to be obedient while a parent runs errands, an overload of feelings that is expressed in tears or a tantrum can result if the child does not understand or feel included. Prevent misbehavior by sending clear, repeated and unchanging messages about what behavior is expected. The important part is that the instructions be extremely clear when defining what is acceptable behavior.

It is most important for parents, according to child development specialists, to "say what you mean and mean what you say." Do not make idle comments or threats about discipline. Just promise a workable consequence, such as no television, for unacceptable behavior and be certain to follow through on the promise. Once a child learns that parents do not really enforce the limits they have established on what is acceptable behavior, it is difficult for parents to maintain control. Such small failures in early discipline can lead to a lack of respect for parents and boundaries in the future, when risky behavior can have life-threatening consequences.

Children also need to receive rewards for good behavior. Often the greatest reward is a parent’s undivided attention after being separated for the day. Even completing chores and other responsibilities can be a good time for children when they are recognized for meeting or exceeding their parent’s expectations. A routine that combines needed chores, such as gathering items for school tomorrow or laying out clothing, can be a pleasure when the child has a comfortable routine and the approval of a parent when the tasks are completed.

The behavior of a child is often a direct reflection of the guidance, respect and attention given to the child by the adults and parents in the child’s life and the acceptable boundaries modeled by those adults.