When is your Child Old Enough to Stay A L O N E ?

Some people think that there is a specific age at which a child is old enough to be at home alone. Not so. Parents need to consider other characteristics about their children. According to Karen Debord, child development specialist with N.C. Cooperative Extension, the most appropriate way to make a decision to leave a child at home alone is to base it on the child’s sense of maturity and responsibility in self-care. Both the child and the parent should be comfortable with the arrangement. Because they are minors (under age 18), make sure there is some supervision, such as a way to check-in, or a close neighbor who is home. Keep the time periods short when there is no adult interaction.

To determine whether your child is ready to stay alone, consider these questions:

• Is the child mature enough to handle a potentially dangerous situation? What would the child do if there were a fire, power outage or a stranger at the door?
  
• How does the child feel about staying alone? If there are siblings who also will be at home, will they get along well together?
  
• What is the level of resourcefulness in the child? Will the child find something safe and constructive to do?
  
• Is the amount of time the child is to be alone reasonable? If help is needed quickly are neighbors or other people available and reliable?

To help the child make the transition to being alone, consider these tips:

• Establish rules for the child’s home-alone time before the child actually stays alone. Determine how your child should handle phone calls or answer the door. Decide if friends are allowed to come over when you are not there. Is the child expected to do homework and chores?
  
• Make sure that the child knows how to reach you in case of emergency. Establish a backup contact person to call if you can’t be reached. Suggest who the child may call if he needs to talk or needs a suggestion for activities.
  
• As the adult, it is important for you to be dependable. Be home when you say you will be, or call to let the child know that you are running late.
  
• Make sure that the line of communication is open. Communication is key to success-ful self-care and to successful family relationships. According to Debord, even in the teen years it is important for parents to closely monitor the activities and whereabouts of their teens. Parents need to know where they are, who they are with and what they are doing.
  
  
• After your child has gained the skills and knowledge needed to stay alone, consider planning a trial period of self-care to assess your child’s adjustment. Children who are mentally and emotionally ready to stay alone, who have been taught the skills and knowledge needed to deal with the new responsibility, and who communicate readily with their parents about fears or concerns that may arise, can gain self-confidence from the opportunity to care for themselves.