Elder Care Coping Strategies

Caring for an elderly parent is a responsibility that more adult children are assuming. Over 80 percent of elder care is provided informally by family and friends. Caring for other adults can be easier if the caregiver has a clear idea of what is important to their elderly parent. While your parents are healthy, talk with them about their health, their legal and financial situation and how they want to live out their days.

Caring for an elderly family member involves many physical, mental, relational, financial and legal challenges. Long hours or sleepless nights can lead to anger and fatigue.

Worry, fear, frustration, guilt, anger and feelings of isolation may develop. In addition, conflict can occur between siblings related to dividing up elder care responsibilities. Financial and legal challenges may involve issues related to how well the care receiver has planned ahead for elder care.

Elder care can be less stressful if the following coping strategies are implemented:
• Communicate with family members. Although issues of frailty, illness and long-term care are sensitive subjects, it is important to find out what older adults would prefer before, rather than after, a crisis. Talk about care periodically. As the level of needed care changes, it is important to monitor changing needs. It is important to understand that elder care is the responsibility of all family members. Each person can do something to help.
• Utilize available services. Learn about resources available for older adults related to legal affairs, housing, insurance, health care, financial transactions, support groups,
in-home services and adult day care. Contact your county’s organization that deals with programs and services for older adults, or your Cooperative Extension Center for additional information about support services and educational programs.
• Ask for and accept help. Common problems caregivers face include feeling alone and trying to do everything without help from others. Usually family members and other people are willing to help if they know what is needed. The key is to communicate your needs. Accepting help sometimes means hiring somebody to assist members especially as care needs increase. This allows some time to attend to the personal needs of the caregiver.
• Take care of yourself. Many caregivers find themselves so busy caring for others they neglect their own routine health care. It is important to maintain your health. Eat balanced meals, get regular physicals, exercise, rest when possible and relax periodically. Maintain a positive attitude and talk with someone you trust as the need arises. Accept that you have added responsibility which calls for using time management skills.