Making Final Arrangements
Help Ease Family’s Anxiety

Many individuals and families are uncomfortable talking about death, even though it’s inevitable for all of us. Though we may not want to think about it, making final arrangements can relieve your loved ones of the emotional and financial stress that comes with making such arrangements when they are grief-stricken. Planning final arrangements or, as some like to call it, planning your last party, is one of the most thoughtful gifts you can give your loved ones. Fortunately, you do not have to make these plans by yourself. You and your family can work with a funeral director to make choices before the time of need.

Begin making arrangements while you are healthy. Be as thorough in your funeral planning as in your estate planning. You will want to provide written plans through your letter of last instructions. Discuss your plans with family members, especially those who will carry out your plans.

First, decide what arrangements you prefer. Will it be a traditional funeral, memorial service or a direct disposition of the body without any service or ceremony? A funeral or memorial service serves an important purpose. It allows family and friends to come together to express their love and support for the bereaved family. It is also a public way to acknowledge the loss of a loved one and is the first step to overcoming grief and working toward closure.

Funerals are complex events that must balance many factors. Factors to consider are the emotional needs of the family, religious preferences, cultural practices and financial realities. It is important to remember that the funeral is primarily a way for the living to remember and celebrate the life of a loved one.

As you plan, you will need biographical information and information about funeral arrangements. Information on funeral arrangements should include funeral home to contact, name of funeral director, location of prearrangement letter and letter of last instructions, special services requested, pallbearers, music and memorials.

You will need to decide between interment, cremation and organ donation. A body or tissue that is donated for scientific or humanitarian purposes must be handled quickly. Therefore, it is important to make this decision when planning your funeral. Body or organ donation preferences can be made legally binding on the survivors by properly completing the Uniform Donor Card. In North Carolina, you can also indicate your wishes on the back of your driver’s license. Discuss your wishes with your family so they are willing to cooperate at the time of grief, in giving this gift of life to others.

It is important that you take the time to discuss and understand funeral costs. Your funeral director will be able to help you identify the wide range of options available. You may use prefinancing that is revocable or irrevocable. Revocable pre-financing allows you to keep control of special funds through bank accounts, insurance or trusts. Irrevocable pre-financing means paying and giving up control of funds in exchange for an agreement to provide specific death-related services. Under North Carolina law (1991), there are primarily two different types of contracts permitting prefinancing or prepayment for a funeral, a preneed trust agreement and insurance. Both types of contracts must be filed with and recorded by the N.C. Board of Mortuary Science.

Local ordinances, state and federal laws govern funeral companies. In 1984, the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) Funeral Rule established regulations requiring funeral companies to provide information on prices and services for consumers. This rule requires that price information be given over the telephone or that a written price list be given, without charge, if you are meeting face-to-face. The main feature of the FTC Funeral Rule is the General Price List (GPL) which allows consumers to comparison shop by providing identifying information, itemized prices for various goods and services and other pertinent information. Although packaged funerals may still be included in the GPL, it cannot replace the required itemized price list.

By making decisions ahead of time, you help reduce your family’s anxiety and help ensure that your wishes are met. For more information, contact your local Extension Center and request Planning Ahead for Elder Care - Death Related Decisions.