NCCES has developed a number of publications for the
homeowner needing information about wastewater management. These
pamphlets are written in easy-to-understand language. Nearly all
questions potential homeowners could ask are covered. One of the
best publications is the Septic System Owner's Guide. It is a
file folder designed to hold important records. It has space to
draw the layout of the system and includes maintenance
information. You may want to get a small supply of these from
your local agent to have for your client.
Visual Aids
A slide tape set and video on septic management are available
from campus specialists. Four counties have groundwater models
that work well with school groups as well as adults. The models
are located in Cumberland county (910-484-7156), Guilford County
(910-375-5876), Orange County (919-732-8181) and the Vernon James
Center in Plymouth (919-793-4428).
Computer Tools
Another new tool has recently been developed, but all agents
do not yet have access to it. COSMO is a computer program that
allows users to compute Costs of On-site Management Options.
Users input localized construction costs and the type of systems
they are considering. Outputs include total materials and
installation costs, present value of total O&M costs, total cost
over the life of the system and average monthly cost over the
life of the system. COSMO assists with decision making where
options exist. Going through the process with a homeowner helps
them see the necessity of maintaining their " investment." Few
homeowners look at their systems as part of their overall home
investment.
The Internet is a tremendous information source. Every
County Extension center has full access to the World Wide Web.
Most county centers have a terminal that is not assigned to a
staff member. Contact you local center to set up a time when
they can show you how their system works. I am sure they would
be willing for you to use one of their terminals. The North
Carolina cooperative Extension Service Home Page address is
http://www.ces.ncsu.edu.
Conflict Resolution Training
We all run into difficult situations and people in our jobs.
Managing conflict effectively is an acquired skill. Extension
can provide workshops on conflict resolution. Contact Craven
Hudson at 919-560-0527 for further information. Basic
information on conflict resolution is included in these
proceedings.
Supporting Materials: Drama Triangle
Principles Underlying the Drama Triangle
People carry out roles that have become necessary to affirm how
they feel about themselves and others.
When the feelings toward self and others are based to discounts,
that person must assume a consistent view to make the outcomes of
his/her relationship predictable.
Definition of the Three roles of the Drama
Triangle
Persecutor
Persecutor:
1) Criticizes others without understanding the reasons behind
their actions, or assumes a negative intent when it did not
exist
2) Usually gives judgmental and non-specific criticism
Victim:
1) Role assumed when a person discounts his/her ability and
relies on someone else to "take care of them" or criticizes
them
2) The role is assume when one places the responsibility for
their success of failure on someone else rather than solving
their own problems (when they have the ability to solve those
problems themselves)
Rescuer:
1) Assumed when one discounts another's ability to handle their
own problems, or when one takes responsibility for doing for the
other person what they could do for themselves
2) Triggered by the persecutor/victim interactions
Strategies for Getting out of the Drama
Triangle
Persecutor role
1) Give specific feedback without attacking the person
2) Stroke
Victim role
1) Maintain a "responsible self"
2) Ask for specifics
Rescuer role
1) Stay out of it
2) Enable other to solve their own problems
Summary of the Key Principles of the Drama
Triangle
A. Managers are often expected to take on dysfunctional roles:
persecutor, victim, rescuer
B. Employees and managers work most effectively when they take
responsibility for their own behavior and problems
C. Managers' expectations of employees are usually met
(Pyhmalion Effect)
D. Every victim plays a part in his/her own victimization
E. Rescue/victim transactions usually turn into
persecutor/victim transactions
F. The self-fulfilling prophesy makes the Drama Triangle
insidious and stable.
G. Getting out of the Triangle is difficult because it is
difficult to see oneself playing roles and because it is so
stable to play the roles.
H. Getting out of the Triangle requires three
steps/commitments:
1. Seeing oneself in the Triangle
2. Taking the risk to get out of the
Triangle
3. Using effective communication
skills
I. In the long-term the participation in the drama Triangle
results in a downward spiral in performance.
Reprinted with permission form Dr. Stephen K. Straus, Political
Science Professor, NCSU, 1996
Notes on "Getting to Yes"
Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher and William Ury. Penguin
Books, New York. 1981
1. Separate the People from the Problem
A. Perception
Put yourself in their shoes
Don't deduce their intentions from your fears
Discuss each others' perspectives
Give them a stake in the outcome
Align proposal with values
B. Emotion
Recognize and understand
Make emotions explicit
Go ahead and let them vent
Recognize the tactic Don't react - buy time to think
Don't get mad, don't get even, get what you want
C. Communication
Make the effort
Listen to what they say;listen actively
Speak to be understood
Speak for yourself
D. Prevention works best
Build a working relationship
Face the problem, not the people
2. Focus on interest not positions
A. Identify interests
Ask why;why not
Realize that each side has multiple interest
Most powerful interests are basic human needs
Make a list
If negotiating with a hard bargainer:
go around stone walls
deflect attacks
expose tricks
B. Talking about interests
Make them real
Acknowledge their interests
Put interest before your answer
Look forward not back
Be concrete but flexible
Be hard on the problems, soft on people
C. Build a golden bridge
involve the other side
Satisfy unmet interests
Help them save face
Go slow to go fast
3. Invent options for mutual gain
A. Four obstacles
Premature judgment
Searching for a single answer
Assuming a fixed pie
Thinking that solving their problem is their
problem
B. How to invent options
Separate inventing from deciding
Brainstorm
Broaden your options
Look through the eyes of different experts
Invent agreements of different strengths
C. Look for mutual gain
Look for shared interests
Dovetail differing interests
Trade off preferences
Make their decision easy
4. Use Objective Criteria
A. Criteria need to be independent of each others' will
B. Developing objective criteria
Fair standards
equity
efficiency
feasibility (legal, economic,
logistical)
Fair procedures
C. Negotiating with objective criteria
Frame each issue as ajoint search for objective criteria
Reason and be open to reason on which standards to choose
Nver yield to pressure, only to principle
This page
(http://www.ces.ncsu.edu/plymouth/septic/hudson.html)
created by
Vera MacConnell,
Research Technician, I
on November 15, 1996.
Last Updated on June 4, 1999.
Please address any questions to Dr.David Lindbo,
Assistant Professor, Extension Specialist
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