Supporting Children on School or Community Projects
While PCs (personal computers) are becoming more important in all aspects of children's learning, the larger issue is Parent-Child: How and how much to help and when to let a child manage school or club projects by him/herself. At stake are grades or ribbons, peer "ribbing," reputation or reality, ego or education...it's a lesson in values and relationships as well as practical skills; and it's not simple black-and-white. Parents whose children win the big, long-term prizes (skills, self-esteem, and fair play) often demonstrate:
Realistic Expectations
1. Matching type and difficulty of a project to age/stage capacities and adjusting for individual experience, ability.
2. Taking a learning vs. winning attitude, seeing mistakes and others' successes as learning opportunities, pacing a child's progress, knowing persistence will pay long-term.
3. Balancing projects with other activities (chores, recreation, friendships, family events); Helping a child set his/her own schedule and finding the right blend of quality and quantity are keys to reducing stress and making learning fun.
4. Avoiding comparisons to siblings, peers, parent, artificial standards, or even his/her own past performance.
5. Facilitating a child's own learning style. Kids who learn "hands-on" need demonstration and practice, not forced reading of instructions; social learners need company, private learners don't want to be crowded.
6. Keeping promises (to be there, provide materials, etc.) to support and assist as consistently as would be expected of the child.
Children also benefit when adults provide:
Rewarding Involvement
1. Helping the child problem-solve for him/herself, starting with decisions on what project(s) to do.
Adults play a key role--especially at first-
...coaching decisions about what project to do (not too little or too
much)
...suggesting where to get resources
...explaining options and possible consequences
...guiding the brainstorming and experimenting process
...demonstrating "how to"
...aiding practice (often just by listening)
...supporting performance, and
...providing encouraging interpretation of efforts
Open-ended (more than "yes"-"no") questions and critical thinking questions (sources, strategies, outcomes, etc.) help youth ponder all angles. As the child gains more insight, skill, and confidence, adults can help by suggesting new options or just getting out of the way.
2. Parents can help kids connect with resource people, books, videos, or learning events (vs. providing all the help themselves) and teach youth how/where to seek help.
3. Parental experience and encouragement may help pace the timing for completing various parts of projects.
4. Listening (to plans, procedures, or progress) and encouragement are critical roles.
Parents should note that praise can be as unproductive as criticism since it can make youth dependent on external approval vs. internal motivation.
Tuning Support to the Child's Abilities, ages 6-12*
Slow, steady growth (about 3" and 5-7 lb. per year) typical of boys and girls ages 6-10 years
Muscle strength typically doubles between ages 6-11 years; size depends on both heredity and exercise
Most 6 year-olds can skip, throw a small ball 20-30 ft., jump 30-35 in., cut, paste, and use a butter knife
Most 7 year-olds balance on one foot, repeat exercises to mastery, comb hair, and use a knife to cut meat
Most 8 year-olds vertical jump 10 in., throw a ball 35-60 ft., use common tools, help with household tasks
Most 9 year-olds can long jump 53-57 in., perform tasks involving hand-eye coordination
Most 10-11 year-olds can make simple craft articles, do repair work, cook, sew, wash and dry their hair
Girls generally show better performance than boys in working with their hands
Sports and recreational activities primarily social rather than competitive to age 9-11 years
Stress, stereotyping, and parent or peer pressure can severely limit performance and self-esteem
Seven percent of 6 yr.-olds (25% at age 11) require vision correction; 5% do not pass auditory screening
Two-to-three percent of children experience learning disabilities; all have unique learning styles
By age 7-8, children can place things in order, recognize their relationships and sub-groups
Before age 12, children are unable to reason using the abstract reasoning of adults
Experience, clues. and the presence of a concrete object help 7-11 year-olds reason through new situations
Individual achievement motivation varies widely due to personality and relationship factors
Evidence suggests that children display intelligence in a variety of ways, including verbal, mathematical, spatial, movement, self-understanding, interpersonal, and musical--there are many ways to be "smart"
Ability to assume another person's perspective is usually not established until age 8-10 years
Source: John W. Santrock. (1993). Children. Third Edition. Madison, WI: Brown & Benchmark.
*Traits described are typical. Children of each age display a wide range of abilities and learn at different rates depending on interests, experience, intelligence, and encouragement.
