String Out Your Stress
Children, teenagers, parents, grandparents...we're all busy. Sometimes we get caught up in our own schedule and lose track of what's happening with other family members. If our loved ones don't know our great events or big dissappointments--or don't realize which is which--we lose the caring and support which is so important in a family.
Our long hours apart sometimes bring loneliness (an encouraging call or lunch together would be nice). Often time apart makes our coming together a little too intense--our own families get on our nerves. Or it may be that our energy level can't keep pace with another person.
Bead Stringing Activity
1. Distribute to each person a cotton or plastic string 15-20" long, together with a sack of 25-30 beads of many colors.
2. Tell each participant to choose beads to represent hours, events, or relationships in a typical day. Each person can choose as many beads as he/she likes, using whatever color seems to fit that activity (i.e., red may signal a crisis time of day for one, but an exciting time of day for another). Beads should be strung together in the order of the events they represent. Allow 5-15 min. for stringing beads and encourage each to work on his/her own string, emphasizing that there is no right or wrong way to do it.
3. When stringing is complete, gather in groups of 3-5. Encourage each person to describe the events, feelings, and relationships symbolized in each bead. Descriptions may vary in detail and duration. Group members should take turns sharing, with supportive listening rather than editing or evaluative comments as each story is told.
4. When each member has told his/her story, members may comment on what they like or dislike about their typical day, how their day fits with that of other family members, or what they might do differently. Each might identify points of stress and satisfaction. Differences in daily events, color meaning, and in the pace and feel of events, as well as similarities in patterns of tasks, energy, and emotion can be noted and discussed as a way to better understand others...and event/attitude options for one's own schedule.
5. Finally, individuals or family groups can talk about what they learned from listening to each other's descriptions and what they might do to de-stress times which are too intense, include more relaxation and fun in their individual or family life, or find time for special trips and celebrations or for talking and supporting each other. Participants may even want to re-string, creating the more fulfilling, less stressful day they want to live.
Busy schedules seem to keep us on the run, but really we can choose some of what we do and we can choose how we handle whatever we do. The string is there for us to bead every day. Whether it is an event or an attitude, each of us makes the difference in what is put into the days we live.
Adaptation: Family members (in 3s) select different colored strings and braid them together. Talk about how our lives are intertwined, what holds us together, how colors contrast or complement each other, where the knots are, and what causes us to unravel (including when unraveling is/is not healthy).
Ways to Recognize Stress
PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS
headaches, body aches, increased sickness, fatigue, appetite change, insomnia, substance abuse
EMOTIONAL REACTIONS
anxiety, frustration, mood swings, bad temper, irritability, loneliness, joylessness, discouragement
MENTAL SIGNS
forgetfulness, confusion, listlessness, boredom, poor concentration, negative self-talk
Ways to Reduce Stress
PHYSICAL RELIEF
Exercise: stretching at work/school and before vigorous activity; aerobic workouts; walking vigosously for at least 15 minutes per day
Deep Breathing: Filling lungs slowly to the diaphram and relaxed slowly, allowing body pace to slow down and chest muscles to relax
Muscle Relaxation: Tensing and releasing muscle groups slowly and systematically, especially in those areas affected most (back, shoulders, stomach, forehead, jaw, feet)
EMOTIONAL RELIEF
Brainstorm ways to see the situation in a new--less stressful--way: think about the long-term (vs. immediate stress); look for positive elements; try to see at other persons' perspectives;
Talk with a friend and accept their support; include some humor in each day; try new activities
MENTAL STIMULATION
Explore a new hobby or get involved in a volunteer activity
Plan a schedule which intersperses relaxing activities with high-intensity activities
Find new ways to cooperate with stressful people if possible--if not, find ways to forget them
